“It takes a lot of courage to sit down with the thoughts that haunt us, but it’s well worth it.”
No one would be talking, yet I would hear so much dialogue. Slowly I had to make peace with all the voices I heard yelling at me. I would hear constantly “Are you happy”, “Are you doing the right thing in life”, “You’re not successful enough”, “Are you ever going to have children,” and more annoying things I felt I couldn’t manage. I tried going to a therapist to talk it out and although it was nice, what I really needed to do was answer all of those voices so they can shut up.
I would initially get upset with them and then I’d feel bad. When they came back, I did the same thing, never dealing with what that meant to me. Once I finally sat with every thought, my inner chaos was gone! I could finally sleep at night without tossing and turning. I was finally able to go to a spa and sit there for hours because now those thoughts weren’t haunting me. Typically, when those thoughts would come, I would turn up the radio and sing loud so I couldn’t hear them or I would start reading a book because the mind can’t think and read at the same time. I found tons of solutions but sitting still with those thoughts was not an option for me for many years. It’s no wonder I couldn’t hear God.
Those thoughts were so loud God couldn’t get through to me. Now that I’ve cleared out all of my internal chaos I can hear God loud and clear. When I feel internal chaos, I deal with it immediately because I don’t want it to affect my relationship with our creator and I don’t want to operate from a hurt/mad place. I always want to operate from a loving and kind place.
The only way I can do that is if I don’t have internal chaos. It takes a lot of courage to sit down with the thoughts that haunt us, but it’s well worth it. Now I enjoy going to the spa alone so that I can sit and talk to God. I feel like hours are minutes and I feel tremendous joy, where before I felt enormous emotional pain.
There are a lot of people who are addicted to chaos. They can go to a nice dinner and because they are addicted to chaotic energy, they will find a way to create it. They will either find a problem with the menu, waiter, restaurant, or something. Innately, they feel happiness when they have chaos. That is a sad dynamic because they are simply attracting negativity and bad fortune into their lives.
Questions to ask yourself to start the process of clearing out the chaos in your mind:
1)What internal chaos do you have that you need to get rid of? Sit for an hour with no phone, TV, or radio and write down all the negative thoughts that come to your mind. Once the hour is over review the list and debunk each with a positive thought or affirmation. This will begin to re-direct your brain to positive thoughts versus negative.
2)Are you okay being still/alone for long periods of time? If not, try simply walking at the park/mountains for 15 minutes without anyone or your phone.
3)The next time you are feeling internal chaos what are some steps you can take to deal with it so it doesn’t affect your life?
For more information on Elvira Guzman follow her on Instagram @elviraguzmanla
For information on her books go to www.elviraguzman.com